Six Lessons Learned about Praying for Adult Children

Posted on February 6, 2020 by Terry and John

Many Catholic parents are frustrated about their adult children’s behavior or about decisions to stop going to church. What can they do? Praying for adult sons and daughters in an enlightened way is a good beginning. Here are six lessons we have learned.

BU grad fam
     First, it is never too early or too late to pray for them. Prayer unleashes the Holy Spirit’s power in ways we don’t always understand. We connect ourselves to the strength of God’s love for them and let the Holy Spirit handle the results. And also, seeking Jesus’ wisdom about our sons’ or daughters’ lives, their difficulties or needs, is a lifelong calling.

 
     Second, ask God, the Father, to intervene in a son’s or daughter’s life, especially if their situation is out of synch with the message of God’s love, our redemption in Jesus, and the teaching of the Church. The Father is concerned about their well-being even more than we are. God is already at work in their lives. We need to ask for eyes to recognize God’s presence.

 
     Third, ask God to send the Holy Spirit as a guide. If our adult children are baptized, they have already been immersed in the life and love of God. But they may not be aware of the presence of the Spirit or how to tap into the power and direction that the Spirit wants to provide. We can pray, “Come, Holy Spirit, help me and my son/daughter _________ to meet you as a living person and to follow you!”

 
     Fourth, ask for the gift of peace-filled understanding. It is a rare adult son or daughter who can accept a parent’s unsolicited advice about their lives and problems without feeling threatened. So, first, we must let go of our opinions and the desire to solve their problems. Our goal is to offer our children to Jesus and let him do the “heavy lifting.” Then we will have the peace to listen.

 
     Fifth, ask for God’s help to choose one issue in his or her life to pray about. If we find ourselves worrying, let go of knowing God’s whole plan for them. Let go of the way their needs may be tangled up with our own. Pray regularly for just one concrete need that he or she has expressed.

 
     Sixth, speak and act in ways that affirm a son or daughter. Ask respectful questions that will yield a better understanding, such as “Could you tell me more about…?” or “Have you ever thought about…?” Act or serve in ways that reflect God’s love and that utilize the fruits of the Holy Spirit—peace, joy, patience, and understanding. These fruits of the Spirit may not always come naturally; we may need practice.

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My Soul Sings

Posted on January 16, 2020 by Terry and John
Alleluia!

Do you sing in the shower or in your car? Do you hum or whistle? Do you have a playlist of over one hundred songs, or multiple playlists? Music is all around us: in stores, in elevators, at doctor’s offices… Music also stretches back thousands of years: as a guide for working in the fields, or on a ship; as a way to worship God; or as a means for expressing sheer joy. Songs are a very important part of being human.

Certain songs can even reflect God’s touch on our hearts and souls. For example, when Therese was walking down the street after the devastating death of a good friend, she turned on her radio. The first song was “Turn Around Look at Me.” It gave her instant peace that washed over her every time she heard it. This phenomenon is called anchoring. Young Harry often sang the hymn, “How Great Thou Art,” with his uncles on the back porch. He later sang this “anchoring” song to himself as a young soldier.

The Bible is filled with stories about celebrating God’s covenant of love  through music. The Israelites sang after they were spared from slavery (Exodus 15:1 -20). The whole book of the Psalms encourages singing as a form of prayer, fit for every mood and occasion. Psalm 96 invites us to, “Sing a new song to the Lord!” and Psalms 136 to 150 do the same. Best of all, the shepherds on Christmas day did not hear a speech or a sermon. They heard angels singing the good news.

What does this have to do with sharing faith? Here are some pointers.
1. Include religious music in your playlists and as a part of daily prayer. Sing hymns aloud.
2. Consider any song that “anchors” you. Ask where is God’s voice in this? What is God saying?
3. Play religious songs while you have guests in your home or passengers in your car. If you are not sure how comfortable they might be, ask permission to do so.
4. Post a link to a contemporary religious hymn on social media and share a brief statement about how God touches you. Ex: “This song gives me a deep peace. It reminds me that God will help me.”
5. Invite someone to a Christian music concert. Share what the music meant afterwards.

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How to Become a Christmas Evangelizer

Posted on December 8, 2019 by Terry and John

Jesus was born to minister to the lost sheep of Israel and beyond. He told his disciples to do the same. He did not tell them to sit tight and wait for the lost sheep to come back. This same call to make disciples continues today. And during this Advent/Christmas season, our calling takes on the flavor of imitating Mary, who watched and prepared for the birth of Jesus.

We too can be instruments of new spiritual birth within our families, neighborhoods, and even our country. A first step is to watch for the presence of Jesus among us. Another is to reach out (to evangelize) grounded in the truth that the love of God, by its very nature, overflows with the slightest cooperation on our part. Here are some simple ways to share your Christmas faith during the Advent/Christmas season:

• After you wrap each gift, hold it in your hands for a moment and pray for the person who will receive it.

• Display a Christmas creche in your home, yard or office. “The Christmas crèche helps us to relive the history of what took place in Bethlehem… It touches our hearts and makes us enter into salvation history as contemporaries of an event that is living and real.” [Pope Francis, ‘The Enchanting Image.] Consider reading this document, as well.

• Pray with Christ-centered Christmas carols that proclaim the Gospel message, as a way of saying “Yes” to the presence of Jesus in our midst. Pray a single phrase from a different carol throughout each day of Advent/Christmas, as if it was written for your family.

• Invite someone to come with you to view a parish nativity display, a Christmas Carol event, or a Christmas liturgy.

• Send a Christ-centered Christmas card with a personal message about your spiritual hopes for the person receiving it. For example, “I am praying for a new outpouring of the peace of Jesus in your home this year.”

• Discuss what family or friends think of the statement, “Keep Christ in Christmas?” Share what this means and ask about practical ways that this be done.”

• Make a donation to Church-sponsored charitable organizations, as the levels of poverty increase in our country.

There are many definitions for (Christmas) evangelizing, but they all revolve around the “glad tidings” that the angels announced on that first Christmas. God has become flesh among us! He has come as Emmanuel, Savior, Prince of Peace, Shepherd and Bread of Life (in a lowly manger). People around us need to experience Jesus in these ways. And we can help by sharing these ‘glad tidings.’ And we can do so in confidence because God’s Word “does not return to heaven without accomplishing what it was sent to do.” Isaiah 55:11.

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