Author, Sherry Weddell, has noted a common concern among older adult believers. She says, “I’ve had a number of conversations with the very serious disciple parents (Catholic and evangelical) of young adults and am seeing a pattern:
Many (not all) of their now grown children, who were very carefully raised, home-schooled, little or no television, active as leaders in youth groups, etc., are walking away from the Church and the faith, now that they are on their own as post-college, independent young adults. De-Churched.
Their parents are handling it as graciously and lovingly as they can, but all are wondering: Were my children just going along with the family norm? Did they ever really believe? Were they ever genuine disciples?” “Forming Intentional Disciples Forum,” Facebook, June 1, 2024).
As authors of a book addressed to these parents, we would add these observations, as well.
- Keep in mind that the world of your grown child is dramatically different, than when you were his or her age. Many support systems are gone, invisible, or have taken on a new form. For example, successful youth ministries are in the rearview mirror. And the parish church is not usually seen as viable place to get support as an adult… So, when your young person faces a new marriage, a new job, a death, a divorce or a long-distance move, who does your young adult reach out to (often instead of you)?
- And under a parent’s concern is the call to evangelize young adults! But it is equally important to reach out to those who encounter them on a regular basis: their extended families, work teams, peer groups, neighbors. Ask yourself, what parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts, might be willing to accompany your young person into an adult spiritual life? Who might be their ‘godparent,’ or companion, as they seek the next step in a life-long journey of faith?
Here are two articles that offer beginning points:
“When Someone You Love Stops Going to Church”
https://www.catholicdigest.com/faith/spirituality/when-someone-you-love-stops-going-to-church/.
“Praying for Our Adult Sons and Daughters”
https://www.catholicdigest.com/family/relationships/praying-for-our-adult-sons-and-daughters/
Here are two books: Praying for Our Adult Sons and Daughters: Placing Them in the Heart to God. And a second small group guide available on Amazon.
Mending Broken Relationships, Building Strong Ones: Eight Ways to Love as Jesus Loves Us. This book acknowledges relationship problems in some families that bring pain, hurt, fear, and rejection. It also guides the reader into becoming more like Jesus through respect, gratitude, patience, being present, speaking truth with compassion, and forgiveness.