The Nuts and Bolts of Evangelizing Your Young Adult

Author, Sherry Weddell, has noted a common concern among older adult believers. She says, “I’ve had a number of conversations with the very serious disciple parents (Catholic and evangelical) of young adults and am seeing a pattern:

Many (not all) of their now grown children, who were very carefully raised, home-schooled, little or no television, active as leaders in youth groups, etc., are walking away from the Church and the faith, now that they are on their own as post-college, independent young adults. De-Churched.

Their parents are handling it as graciously and lovingly as they can, but all are wondering: Were my children just going along with the family norm? Did they ever really believe? Were they ever genuine disciples?” “Forming Intentional Disciples Forum,” Facebook, June 1, 2024).

As authors of a book addressed to these parents, we would add these observations, as well.

  1. Keep in mind that the world of your grown child is dramatically different, than when you were his or her age. Many support systems are gone, invisible, or have taken on a new form. For example, successful youth ministries are in the rearview mirror. And the parish church is not usually seen as viable place to get support as an adult… So, when your young person faces a new marriage, a new job, a death, a divorce or a long-distance move, who does your young adult reach out to (often instead of you)?
  2. And under a parent’s concern is the call to evangelize young adults! But it is equally important to reach out to those who encounter them on a regular basis: their extended families, work teams, peer groups, neighbors. Ask yourself, what parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts, might be willing to accompany your young person into an adult spiritual life? Who might be their ‘godparent,’ or companion, as they seek the next step in a life-long journey of faith?

Here are two articles that offer beginning points:
“When Someone You Love Stops Going to Church”
https://www.catholicdigest.com/faith/spirituality/when-someone-you-love-stops-going-to-church/.
“Praying for Our Adult Sons and Daughters”
https://www.catholicdigest.com/family/relationships/praying-for-our-adult-sons-and-daughters/

Here are two books: Praying for Our Adult Sons and Daughters: Placing Them in the Heart to God. And a second small group guide available on Amazon.

Mending Broken Relationships, Building Strong Ones: Eight Ways to Love as Jesus Loves Us. This book acknowledges relationship problems in some families that bring pain, hurt, fear, and rejection. It also guides the reader into becoming more like Jesus through respect, gratitude, patience, being present, speaking truth with compassion, and forgiveness.

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Behind the Cabrini Film

Therese enjoyed the recent film about St. Francis Cabrini, who has been a life-long friend, a remarkable healer and a companion through Cabrini’s diaries. Therese has also been inspired during dozens of pilgrimages to Cabrini’s shrine in New York City. Here are some of Therese’s favorite stories, that provide an essential background for a budding relationship with this Saint.

For example, the story of Mother Cabrini’s overwhelming fear of water (which was hinted at through underwater scenes). This began with a near drowning at the age of seven, which left Cabrini with a severe and persistent dread of water. When she realized her call to be a traveling missionary, St. Frances took her fears before God in prayer. Jesus responded with a promise, “I (will) protect and guide you with my hands from one sea to the other.”  So, she put her faith in God during twenty-three missionary ocean voyages. During one such crossing Mother Cabrini was even given the nickname, “sea-lion” by passengers who noticed her immunity to most bouts of seasickness and her practice of sitting on the deck to pray and to add to her diary, “written between one wave and another.”

God’s protection In 1912 St. Frances Cabrini, had a ticket for an ocean voyage from Europe to New York, but because of administrative problems at Columbus Hospital in New York City, she canceled her trip and took another ship a month earlier. The ship she would have traveled on was the Titanic. And knowing her zeal for service to others, she would have stayed in steerage to pray with her beloved immigrants.

Her missions beyond New York included offering religion lessons for  underground coal miners, visiting yellow fever infested neighborhoods, riding a donkey down the side of a steep precipice, and surviving decades of poor health. But none of these things mattered. She trusted God and would often remind her sisters of St. Paul’s words. “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

 Finally, the driving force behind every scene in Cabrini’s life is only hinted at, or perhaps portrayed symbolically, when Mother Cabrini put on her veil. This Saint’s every action was grounded in faith. Behind every act of charity, every attempt to bring justice, is Cabrini’s greatest motive, in her own words: “To love Jesus, to seek Jesus, to speak of Jesus, to make Jesus known… This will be my main interest, the purpose of my steps, my comings and goings, all my preoccupations, of all that comes my way as work.” And finally, how can we imitate her? She encourages us to rely on “the [Holy] Spirit working within us, and comforting us with abundant light, and granting the Spirit’s promptings for every small and large holy action.” So, let us pray… Jesus, help us “devote ourselves to the Holy Spirit with our whole hearts,” like Mother Cabrini… “that we too might see the face of the earth renewed”. Amen.

 

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Look with the Eyes of Jesus

How many of us look at others with the eyes of Jesus? How many ask God’s Spirit to increase our capacity for respect (which literally means to look twice)? How many look beyond the surface, like Jesus did?  According to religious leaders, he was blind to who was clean and unclean, who was touchable and untouchable. Jesus ate with sinners! He touched lepers! He paid attention to annoying children! He consorted with tax collectors, notorious for extortion.

Was he blind? Of course not! Jesus saw every person through the lens of his Father love. Jesus loved everyone who approached him for help. His response to the rich young man was to look on him with love (Mark 17:21). And his encounter with the Samaritan women was based in respectful compassion.

Another example of his compassionant vision is seen in his relationship with Peter. Even after Peter’s denial, Jesus forgives Peter and singles him out for ministry. “Feed my lambs… Tend my sheep… Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17) Once again Jesus invites Peter to walk on the waters of humility and confidence based in the Father’s vision.

In the Acts of the Apostles, the disciples are also challenged to have a new respect for other, especially as they reach out to Gentiles. They must see with new eyes, like Jesus did. In Acts 9 Ananias objects to seeking out St. Paul, a known persecutor of Christians. God addresses these fears with, “Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name to the Gentiles.” (9:15) So Ananias surrenders to God’s vision of Paul.

Another example centers around Peter’s vision of ‘profane or unclean’ animals that he is instructed to eat. While he is still puzzled about this, he is invited to the home of a centurion named Cornelius, where God’s invitation to respectful vision of Gentiles becomes apparent. Peter says, “I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him… he is Lord of all.” (9:34-36)

Jesus, may we see with your eyes and look beyond any prejudice or dislike. Jesus, help us take that first steps of respecting others. Give us new freedom to reach out the “unlikely” and offer the gift of faith. Amen.

Excerpt from our book, Mending Broken Relationships, Building Strong Ones.

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‘Is This Your Dream Job?’

John recently experienced the power of asking questions that have evangelizing potential. It happened during a conversation with a young EMT, named Josh, during John’s ambulance ride. John asked Josh how he became an EMT. Josh explained that his parents were from both the United States and Syria. So, he is in pain about many relatives who are in serious danger.  Then, at one point, he realized that he could act on his concerns, by helping others where he lives.  So, he became an EMT.

John put his own medical needs aside and asked, “So is this your dream job?” John’s question propelled them into a deeper conversation about life, love, and loss, until Josh became choked up. “I want more out of life! I am exhausted from being an EMT during the pandemic. And now, I barely make enough to live on”. John also learned that Josh is searching for a new job, where he can continue to help others. And he wants a relationship with a woman who shares his values and spirituality. He was raised Christian but stopped believing in God, after his parents’ divorce and when faced with all the suffering in the world.

John’s response was to ask Josh if he ever prays. He said yes. Then John admitted, “I am a Christian and I believe that Jesus can fulfill our deepest longings. Would you pray with me?” Then they prayed together for a few moments, just before their trip ended. If John had more time, he might have shared about how Jesus had fulfilled one of his deepest longings. But it was a short ride, so all John could do was to pray that Jesus will help Josh through another believer. Through someone willing to continue the same kind of conversation.

After John’s arrival, he thanked God for the opportunity to stop thinking about himself and to listen carefully.And he thanked the Holy Spirit for the courage and compassion to ask questions with evangelizing potential. Questions that touch upon the meaning of a person’s life. Questions that uncover the desire to live a happier, fuller, and better life. Questions that allow another person to voice what is most important. Examples include: “What is it like to….?”, “What do you hope will happen next in your life?”, “How is life treating you?”, “Is this your dream job?… your dream relationship?… your dream family life?”, and for some in trouble, “What gives you strength during this difficulty?”

Pope Francis describes this kind of evangelization as springing from paying careful attention to others, which he calls “the art of accompaniment.” (The Joy of Evangelization, 169) It is meant to be a life-long approach to people around us through: praying and caring for them, sharing our own faith with them, and daring to invite them to take the next step in their spiritual growth.

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What about My Family, Jesus

Ever see a highway construction sign that reads, “Slow down! My daddy works here!”? This is just one of many reminders that each person is part of a family. Each of us comes from a mother, a father, an extended family, an [intentional] household, an ethnic group, and a parade of ancestors who help define us.

But how do we respect and strengthen these family connections when we serve others in our parishes? What does this mean for those offering direct service to parents and children, to couples seeking marriage, to grieving families, or elders concerned about the spirituality of loved ones?

Here are some important pastoral assumptions.

  1. God is present to families, not just to individuals. God is willing to intervene in families  and households, especially when we acknowledge Jesus as a central person in the Christian family, who offers a greater capacity for love. So, our first goal is to watch for God’s presence and invite families to do the same. Towards this end, we can highlight the reality of Jesus in real-life difficulties, especially through brief peer witnesses during parent sacramental meetings, potluck meals, wakes and parish gatherings.
  2. Baptism ushers us into the spiritual dimension of family life. This sacrament is a powerhouse for inner strength and a sure foundation for experiencing interpersonal graces. So, another goal is to point out the new life that God has already given, and will continue to give. Towards this end, we can incorporate the prayerful use of ordinary symbols like water, candles and bread. We can help people share faith stories associated with baptisms, First Communions, confirmations, and sacramental marriages.
  3. Families approach the church for social rites of passage – marriage, birth, death, and childhood milestones. These are natural times to rethink a family’s spiritual history and to connect with extended family. We can promote interviews and storytelling about a great grandparent, uncle, spouse, or cousin who has been a model of faith. We can ask, “How does this person inspire you?” or encourage videos about a family ‘saint’, or a family’s relationship with a parish.
  4. As families incorporate media into their patterns of communication, another goal is to assist families in spiritual networking using: email, texting, and social networking websites. For example, in my family, we often respond to a Facebook entry about a serious illness with a prayer, like: “Jesus, take away any fear or worry”, or “help the doctor know what to do.” We can also strive to make parish websites, email correspondence, and internet offerings as opportunities for responses about the spiritual life.
  5. Encourage family members to pray for each other and for the family as a community. St. Paul prays, “I fall on my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth receives its true name… and I pray that Christ will make his home in your hearts through faith. (Ephesians 3:14-15, 17). For more information about family evangelizing visit www.catholicevangelizer.com.

 

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800 Years of Evangelizing through the Christmas Creche

Vatican City (CNS) “On the 800th anniversary of St. Francis of Assisi’s first Nativity scene, the creche in St. Peter’s Square in 2023 will come from the Diocese of Rieti, Italy, where in Greccio this event took place… The scene still will be very simple: Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus, some shepherds and figures representing a nobleman… and three Franciscan friars who… put a hay-filled manger, an ox and a donkey in a grotto where the local faithful could come to pray and to imagine the poverty and simplicity into which Jesus was born… The unveiling of the creche in the square is scheduled for 7 p.m. Dec. 9. It will remain up through the feast of the Baptism of the Lord, Jan. 7, 2024.” For more information go here 

While I was growing up, my family displayed a nativity scene near our Christmas tree and  opposite a miniature winter village. It was a warm and welcoming place for visitors; as well as, a place to share stories, and gifts. I often wondered how Jesus could be so humble, and yet fully divine. This is exactly what St. Francis of Assisi wanted the creche to portray. Since then, my wife, Therese, and I have embraced this practice and expanded our Nativity scene for ourselves and for our children. Now there are more trees, animals and a larger stable, that Mary and Joseph travel toward throughout Advent. We also sing and pray carols together in our home during Advent. To download free pages of Christ-centered Christmas carols visit here.

For 2 to 3 minute sample meditations about key images in Christ centered carols visit here   Any group that you belong to can sing a few carols, then share favorite lines from carols and their personal significance. For instructions  visit here.

Our excitement about St. Francis’ creche has also inspired us to create a seasonal evangelizing outreach to Catholics and the unchurched called, “Christmas Carol Festival: A New Way to Reach Inactive Catholics.” A guidebook is available for this process, which offers 1. an explanation of several months of community preparations. 2. Instructions for offering the centerpiece of the process –a gathering to sing Christ-centered carols, visit a simple crèche and share stories of faith, and finally 3. ways to offer visitors overlapping and ongoing invitations to embrace the Gospel of Jesus. For a brief description of the Festival visit here

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5 Marks of Missionary Evangelizing Saints

The Saints are universal models of heroic virtue and cooperation with the Holy Spirit in the mission of evangelization. We too are challenged to embrace the following five marks of their missionary evangelizing lifestyles: passion for Jesus, humility, reliance on God’s grace, embracing hard work, and perseverance.

1. Passion for Jesus

“It is better for me to die in Christ Jesus than to reign over the ends of the earth.” (St. Ignatius of Antioch)

“Jesus is a fire in the very center of our souls ever burning. Yet, we are cold because we do not stay by it.” (St. Elizabeth Seton)

  1. Humility

“How many let themselves be deceived, for, even though their pride may reach the skies and their heads touch the clouds, in the end, they are as forgotten!” (St. Clare of Assisi)

“Humility must accompany all our actions, must be with us everywhere; for as soon as we glory in our good works they are of no further value to our advancement in virtue.” (St. Augustine of Hippo)

  1. Reliance on God’s Grace

“We must pray without tiring, for the salvation of mankind does not depend on material success; nor on sciences that cloud the intellect. Neither does it depend on arms and human industries, but on Jesus alone.” (St. Frances Xavier Cabrini)

“Few souls understand what God would accomplish in them if they were to abandon themselves unreservedly to Him and if they were to allow his grace to mold them accordingly.” (St. Ignatius Loyola)

  1. Welcome hard work

“We are at Jesus’ disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that’s all right, everything is all right. We must say, ‘I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.’ And this is our strength. This is the joy of the Lord.” (St. Teresa of Calcutta)

“Always try to have success in your work but remember God is often glorified in your failure.” (St. Mary MacKillop)

  1. Perseverance

“I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus… proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching… But you, be self-possessed in all circumstances; put up with hardship; perform the work of an evangelist; fulfill your ministry. (St. Paul, 2 Timothy 4:1-

…The presentation of the Gospel message is not an optional contribution for the Church… It merits have the apostle consecrate to it all of one’s time and all one’s energies, and to sacrifice for it, if necessary, one’s own life.” (St. Paul VI, On Evangelization in the Modern World, 5, adapted)

For encouraging posts about the mission of Catholic evangelizing—See more quotes from the Saints, both canonized and living among us,  join us at Holy Spirit Calling

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New Help for People who Want to Share Faith

A Facebook group called Keys to Reaching Inactive Catholics has been established. Contact John Boucher for a possible invitation.

Check out a recent course about Keys to Evangelizing. First go to Therese Boucher on YouTube. Second go to Spiritual: Workshop playlist. There are seven videos of a current zoom course to choose from.

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The DANGEROUS! Final ‘Commandment’ of Jesus!

The Old Testament offers us 10 Commandments that spell out crucial guidelines for embracing a covenant with God.  The Gospels focus on “The Great Commandment,” which spells out, or summarizes the importance of loving God, ourselves, and others. Then there are the “Beatitudes” describing the many blessings for those who imitate Jesus.

We can also count Matthew 28:18-20 as final ‘Commandment” of Jesus Christ, spoken just before he ascended into heaven. This important directive is also called the “Great Commission.’ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. But how do you and I “make disciples” or baptize, or teach? Isn’t this somebody else’s job? Yes and No!

Yes! All of the baptized are called to receive the life of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, in deeper, ongoing and more personal ways throughout our whole lifetimes. This means seeking the presence, power, and joy of God-with-us in everyday life, by drawing upon the gift of new life given to us through Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist. But to fulfil this final commandment also means to support others in faith. “[Jesus] said, ‘You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.’” (Acts 1:4-9) Here are three things that his commandment to ‘witness’ means:

1) The Spirit calls us and sends us to be witnesses (Greek: martyrs) for Jesus Christ through words and deeds. All we are, and all we have, are meant to be used to bring Jesus to others in our personal slice of the world: our homes, families, neighborhoods, churches, workplaces, and communities.

2) Embrace the “danger” and the risk of demonstrating and speaking about the often quiet, but also electric presence of Jesus. It means, gently, but confidently stepping out of our comfort zones, no matter the consequences or failures.

“At no point in the Gospel does Jesus tell us that following him… will be filled with success or that people will like us for it… The road of discipleship is filled with failure; if we demand that our lives be successful, we won’t make it very far.” (Fr. Casey Cole, OFM, “Let Go: Stumbling Blocks to Christian Discipleship,” p. 28)

3) Like Jesus, we are meant to grow in sensitivity to the many people around us who are experiencing spiritual malnutrition. Like Jesus, we are meant to welcome the alienated and the indifferent who have left parishes and faith communities. Indeed, we are called to let go of negative assumptions about the multitudes of Catholics who are dehydrated, as they sit around a single dripping, rusted pipe. We can sit with them and point out that all of us, active or inactive, possess an overflowing, baptismal source of water, that will never leave us thirsting.

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Obstacles to Reaching Out to Inactive Catholics

The desire to share the presence of Jesus with friends, family, or those in need is a good thing. It is a gift from the same Holy Spirit who guided Jesus and the Saints to embrace a deeper compassion, especially for those with spiritual malnutrition. But too often, obstacles put a damper on this calling from God. When this happens, we can imitate the many Saints who embraced such roadblocks, as occasions to ask for more of the Holy Spirit’s wisdom, mercy, zeal and patience.

Here are some common obstacles to evangelizing. Consider watching this video as a step towards making progress in this area. Then ask, “Which one or two obstacles might I experience?

Fear of Failure and Rejection

  1. Failure—embarrassment, ignorance, previous mistakes
  2. Rejection—don’t want to be unpopular, insignificant, ridiculous

Stereotypes and Attitudes toward the Stranger

  1. Assuming he/she would not have anything in common with us
  2. Not interested in knowing strangers, different ethnic groups

Ambivalence

  1. Conflicting motives and beliefs about welcoming others
  2. Ministry groups centered only on mutual support

Relativism (Doctrinal Note on Some Aspects of Evangelization, sections 4, 5)

  1. Wondering if one religion is as “good” as another
  2. Lack of confidence in objective truth
  3. Spiritual isolation, lack of meaning, broken moral compass

Stuck in the Past

  1. We have always done it this way
  2. Lack of assessment about the good that is being done AND left undone

Lack of Support for Evangelizers

  1. Lack of ongoing support and feedback discourages efforts to reach out
  2. Need to recover from failures and rejoice about successes

Lack of personal growth through Prayer, Spiritual Study, Community, and a Sense of Mission

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Understanding Why Catholics Become Inactive

Inactive Catholics can be family: parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, nieces; as well as friends, neighbors, fellow workers. Though they may not be regular Sunday church-goers “YET,” they are still God’s children and our brothers and sisters in Jesus. And we  still share the same Baptismal call: to know the everlasting covenant love of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Even though they have vacated our pews, we cannot assume what their reasons are. But rather respect their spiritual lives.

[WATCH A VIDEO ABOUT THE DECREASE AMONG CHURCHGOERS]

This means we are called to have a “deep” compassion for all who have decided to be absent from Sunday worship with us. This compassion is a crucial first step when reaching out to inactive Catholics. This concern is built upon living a missionary, evangelizing life-style. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops teaches that, “Every Catholic can be a minister of welcome, reconciliation, and understanding to those who have stopped practicing the faith.” (Go and Make Disciples, Section 40).

First of all, compassion means not using derogatory words to describe those who are not regular Mass-goers, such as: back-sliding, lapsed, fallen-away, baptized pagans, home-Baptists, lost souls, etc. Instead  we are called to approach inactive Catholics in respectful ways and offer Jesus-centered invitations to consider the active practice of Catholicism, when the time is right.

Secondly, we need to have humility. The simple truth is that all of us are both active and inactive in some parts of our Catholic Faith: conversion, prayer, study, sacraments, community, service, works of mercy, social justice, and evangelizing others. We are all converted and unconverted, saints and sinners in some parts of our lives. So, we can assume that we may have faced some of the same struggles with faith.

Extensive surveys and studies about Catholic beliefs and practices have been conducted over the past 25 years. These studies indicate that only 15-23% of Catholics in the United States are regulars at Sunday Mass (at least in our part of the country). Studies indicate that many Catholics are not regular churchgoers for one or more of the eighteen reasons listed below.

Individual Activity (3-5 mins.):

  1. Circle the top three reasons why people in your parish seem to have become inactive.
  2. Check issues below that you have struggled with in your own faith, even though you have remained active or returned to being active in your faith.

Reasons for Becoming Inactive:

  • Do not experience God’s presence in the Catholic community
  • Do not experience caring relationships in encounter with Catholics in a parish
  • Difficulty bonding with people who do not share the same culture
  • See Catholicism as complex and unrelated to their lives
  • Only had a weak Catholic identity in the first place
  • Catholic Faith and creed seem unrelated to daily life
  • “Spiritual, but not religious.” Turned off by organized religion
  • See self as on a private, not communal, quest for personal meaning
  • Experienced hurt from clergy or lay Catholics
  • Came into conflict with Church teachings
  • Misled by people who attack the Church
  • Are in marriages not recognized by the Church
  • Married outside of the Catholic faith (other Christian group or world religion)
  • Do not come due to chronic sickness or advanced age
  • Got busy and did not take the time to get involved
  • Relocated (new college, job, or home) and never reconnected with a Catholic parish
  • Unaware of a nearby Catholic community
  • Home parish closed/merged when diocese reconfigured parishes

Share with an active Catholic family member, friend, or in a small parish/neighborhood group (10-20 min.):

  • Invite three (3) active Catholic friends, family members, or acquaintances (individually or together) to read this article with you and share their top three reasons why they think some people in their parish seem to have become inactive.
  • Just listen. After the other person(s) give their answers, share what your top three reasons are.
  • Then share: “What has kept you living as an active Catholic or brought you back to being an active Catholic?” After they answer, give your own answer.
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